Okay, so I know that I am a little late when it comes to writing out my New Year’s Resolutions, but hey, it’s still the beginning of the year. Besides, I have had such an accomplished year, and I want to continue the success for years to come.
Anyways, with a new decade starting, I am really excited to see how I will turn out in 10 years. At the same rate, I don’t want to get too ahead of myself and so instead, I am only going to list what I want to get accomplished this year.
1. To touch up on my Spanish and learn Chinese.
Since Spanish is so important when working (especially in Texas) I plan to go back to my old Spanish teacher and see if he would be willing to just talk with me in Spanish for an hour once a week. As for the Chinese? I may go to the Chinese teacher at MBHS, but since we aren’t that well acquainted, I may just stick with finding free audios online and buying Chinese books at Half Price Books. Anyways, this will give me something to do in my free time and knowing how to speak to 75% of the world’s population will be a wonderful skill for any international relations I may run into in the future.
2. To take more pictures with the old friends and new ones.
As I went through pictures, I realized that I don’t have very many pictures of my college buds. Even more sad? Of the pictures with my own buds, few of the pictures are ones that I have actually taken myself (most are Facebook tags). As my first step to doing this, I am actually going to by a camera that I have had my eyes on for a while now and start the new semester as a photo-maniac!!!
3. Make use of TWU’s fitness center that I am already paying fees for.
Okay, so I think that it is so stupid that students are automatically charged fees for a fitness center that most people won’t even use. Why? Because as poor college students, the last thing we are thinking about using our money for is for excercise. There are definately ways to excercise cheaply like jogging! It’s totally free!!! Besides, as people living off Ramen, I think that we are skinny enough. Anyways, enough ranting. Since I am not one to waste anything, I may as well not waste any money and make use of the fitness center. Besides, I guess since I’ve always wanted rock-hard abs, and Ab-Cruncher equipment is expensive (other than doing crunches…although who likes doing crunches?), this might be a good thing.
4. Learn how to sew.
So this may make me sound like an old grandma, but I think knowing how to sew (and all the other home economics type activites) is an important skill to have. So as a way to learn it in a creative way, I plan to start a sewing project where I turn an old pair of capri’s into shorts. Yeah, it’s sort of a novice project, but hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.
5. Test out of at least one of my English classes, and my Algebra class.
Since I have plans to graduate a year early with a major in Psychology and a double minor in Entrepeneurship and Education, I have to get some more credits out of the way to do that. Just recently, I have tested out of a math class which now makes me a sophomore by credits. Hopefully by the end of this Summer semster, I will be a Junior. Yayy!!
6. Spend more time with my Dad.
This resolution may make me sound like I am a horrible daughter, but the truth is that my Dad and I have very conflicting schedules. My dad gets home late at night and I usually work on weekends (the only days that he has off). But, that shouldn’t stop us. He is an amazing father and I feel I have taken advantage of that. He’s been there for a lot of my activities and I’ve done little to acknowledge that. Besides, even though I don’t spend much time with my Dad, and I don’t really take after him when it comes to general hobbies, I will say I have been interested in some of the things he does like (especially mechanical and technological things). So hopefully, I can set it up so that at least twice a month, my Dad and I hang out together…just me and him.
7. Save up at least $6000 this year (so I will have $30,000 saved up in five years to repay my parents back for tuition).
Because I feel so blessed to have the parents that I have, I want to repay them back for everything that they have given. Even though paying for college is only one small thing compared to what ALL they have done for me, I think that the fact that they are willing to pay for all of my college tuition while struggling financially is a testement to how much they care for me. So not only do I hope to repay them back monetarily, I also hope to make them proud of their investment in me.
P.S. Don’t tell them that I am trying to repay them back. They won’t accept the money then, and they’ll make me quit my job. XD
8. Start learning how to cook….actual, legit meals
Once again, this has to do with acquiring home economics skills. But…it’s also because I L-O-V-E food!! I know that I will be leaving the nest soon which also means that I will miss the home-made dinners that my parents have always made for me. So to preserve that, I hope to be self-sufficient when it comes to make quality home-made dinners.
I don’t know where I want to volunteer, but I think contributing to one’s community is important. Besides, helping others makes me feel like I am doing something with my talents/gifts and that I have changed the world one bit at a time.
10. Read and/or write more often.
Okay, so I am keeping this resolution VERY general and indefinite since (as most people know) I absolutely loathe reading and writing (especially writing). But…since I do value learning and I know that through books (fiction and non-fiction) behold a wealth of information inside them, I think reading will be a good thing for me (no matter how long it takes me to finish a book). As for writing, I just don’t like the process of writing, but I do find writing cathartic after having done it (like right now….haha, excuse the pun). Anyways, as one who expresses very little, I thinking writing would enhance my psychological well-being.
So I know that 11 is a random place to stop at, but I think that it was fitting since it is 2011…teehee.
11. Be content…and smile.
I hope that I end up keeping up with my resolutions, but even if I end up breaking most of them, I hope that I can stay content with myself. I hope I see these resolutions as small weekly (or monthly….maybe even yearly) excercises to promote my spiritual and psychological well-being. And even if I don’t keep up with any of it (or make mistakes in general), I hope that I “forget regret” and instead, smile and see it as an opportunity to improve. So far, I think I have done a good job with feeling content, and that is something that I can smile about.
Anyways, I hope that the year 2011 brings you all that you hoped for! Happy (Belated) New Year, Dear Readers!!!
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Even though it the past few days have been my few few days of freedom before I go back to school, I have done practically nothing (other than babysit and study). So I guess I could be proud of doing “nothing.” But that makes me sound like I have been unproductive. So I guess I am proud of the fact that I tested out of my first semester of English, and hopefully next week I will have tested out of my math class. I am proud of my friends who have mustered the courage to spread their wings and fly out of the nest even though I am sad that I have noone left when January comes. Other than that, I have nothing to report.
To my big brother,
Do you know how much I love you? I love you more than all the stars in the universe (including all the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars ever manufactured). I hope you know that. I know it has been hard to see that as lately you have let me down and that disappointment is written all over my face.
Even though I don’t remember this, mom and dad always told me that when I got to America, I smiled the moment I saw you. During those days, I was utterly shy and it took at least days for me to warm up to someone, much less smile at them. Hearing that always makes me smile. To me, that translates to you being my first best friend in America. And we have always been really good friends until recently. I know that I cannot fully understand all that you are going through as I have never been in your situation, but I can sympathize with the fact that I understand quitting what you are doing is difficult. All I ask in return is that you stop letting the family down. I hate seeing momma cry. She’s different. Not only do I miss the old Alex, but I miss the old mom too. Going bowling a week ago was a lot of fun. We haven’t been that kind of family in a long time. I miss that. I love to see you happy. I never told you this, but I had a dream where we were laughing about this dangling poop (I know weird…but as hard as it is to believe, the poo is symbolic). I remember waking up in the middle of the dream laughing for real. I wouldn’t mind having that dream again…it brought out a sense of euphoria for me. It was fun laughing with you like old times. We were an awesome duo. Always hanging out with each other (you would even invite me to hang out with your buds which is quite an honor for a sibling).
When I was younger, I used to always hate you protecting me. You would always tell the other guys to not lay a finger on me as you stood in a defensive position in front of me. I was mad because I knew that I could handle myself, but now I know what all of that means—that you wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt me. You have done well except (irony of life), you have hurt me. I wish you could understand how sad it is to watch you destroy yourself. Very few times do I get to see the light in your eyes. Lately, you are always angry.
Not only were you willing to fight for me, but you always stuck up for me when I was too scared to defend myself from mom rage. Now all I ask you is to stick up for yourself. Look at yourself into the mirror of the past. You’ll see a boy who is self-conscious. Look at yourself into the mirror of the present. You’ll see a teenager who is drowning in his own self-defeat struggling to stay alive. Look at yourself into the mirror of the future. I hope that one day, you will see a confident man. Find confidence in yourself, and I think everything will play out the way you want it to. That’s what I hope for you. It’s taken me a couple of years to acknowledge this, but I can’t save you, only you can. But I have tried, and I wish you could see and understand those efforts I have made. I want to show you that even though you may feel disabled in a certain way, you are actually not. As paradoxical as this sounds, your disadvantage could be a great advantage. I wish you could see that. Hopefully the magic mirror will reveal that “you are the fariest of them all” one day.
Do you remember riding in the police car together and getting baseball cards from the nice gentlemen, or the time we slept under the seats on our train ride to Ohio, or the wrestling matches where my only defense was to squeeze your thumbs until they turned purple (you can do very little without your thumbs), or the time when we went with dad to work for his Children’s day, or the times when we would stay up really late talking about philosophical things like theology or life until mom shooed me off to bed just when the conversation was getting juicy (those were my favorite moments because you had the most amazing ideas and questions)? If you could do anything for me, my wish would be to have those kinds of days back. Memories that are good and not full of strife.
You are an amazing person with so much potential. Any little kid can see that. I know I did when I first saw you. Otherwise, we would not have been friends. We would have only been bonded by a societal title that means nothing without the true relationship—brother and sister. You are my brother and a friend and an example, no matter how old we get or who we choose to be.
1. Kingdom Come (Coldplay)
2. Once (Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova)
3. So Hi So Lo (Matisyahu)
4. Jesus Doesn’t Want Me For A Sunbeam (Nirvana)
5. Your Man (Josh Turner)
6. Long, Long Time (Lee Seung Gi)
7. El Tango De Roxanne (Moulin Rouge)
8. The Power Of Gold (Dan Fogelberg)
9. City Bird (Of Montreal)
10. Woe (Say Anthing)
11. Crystal Ball (Styx)
12. Trance 4 (Techno)
13. Lovely Day (Park Shin Hye)
14. Jack’s Obsession (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
15. Vapor (Little Big Town)
One word: ASHLEIGH! My friend Ashleigh persuaded me for a long time to get a tumbr. I hesitated because as much as I am good at writing I absolutely loathe doing it. So I “secretly” made a tumblr just to see if it was something that I could maintain, and somehow my friends Kaylee (who also likes tumblr) found me, and then everything worked like dominos there. Everyone she was friends with ended up finding me, and thus I had to start blogging. Besides, Kaylee said that she wanted to read my blogs (probably to get into my psyche and analyze it like she likes for me to do for her…love you Kaylee. Although I will say that some things are too personal for anyone outside of myself, and so I am sorry to say, but there will be things that will be withheld). Ironically, Ashleigh has still yet to follow me on tumblr.
I will admit that there some of these 30 Day Challenge questions are fun and can be very theraputic by providing a good catharsis, but I have had trouble keeping up with blogging everyday with college having begun. In fact, this is one of seven blogs that I have fallen behind on and I am trying to catch up.
So, all in all, out of all love and repect: DARN YOU ASHLEIGH!!! :)
Happy: Suan Tian (S.H.E), Fireflies (Owl City), Don’t Worry ‘Bout A Thing (SHEDaisey), Fallin’ For You (Colbie Calliet), Stuck Like Glue (Sugarland)…etc.
Sad: Picking Up The Pieces (Blue October), Stay (Little Big Town), Leaves On The Seine (David Lanz), Last Train Home (Ryan Star), I’ll Be There (Jackson 5), You’ll Be In My Heart (Phil Colins), Hymn To The Sea (Titanic), O Danny Boy (Celtic Woman), May It Be (The Lord of the Rings), Dreams on Fire (A.R. Rahman), The Road Home (Stephen Paules)…etc.
Hyped: Church (T-Pain), Imma Star (Jeremih)
Mad: Shut Up (Blink-182), Say It (Blue October), Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down (Blue October)
When it comes to Hyped songs, I like anything that is upbeat. Since I don’t really get mad, I only have two songs that use to let out my anger (if I listen to anything when I am mad, it is usually some Blue October song). I am very rarely bored, and if I am bored, I listen to any song that my heart desireths—I don’t have a designated bored song.
Well since it abou the end of August, my goals for this month will definately be short-term. My biggest challenge is to get all my college stuff done/figured out before I go to school (which is in 4 days…”Ahhhh!”). The to-do list for college has been neverending for me. Texas Womans is really failing when it comes to keeping my records in order. So this Friday, I have to go to Financial Aid to see if they have one of my scholarships on record. It’s only $500, but $500 is precious when it comes to a semesters worth of textbooks. I also have to do ANOTHER choir audition for this darn school (this will be my third!), so I am practicing up a storm.
As school lingers closer, I know I must prepare myself for my worst fear—driving (duhn, duhn, DUHN!). If I didn’t worry about saving my folks a lot of money, I would have definately avoided commuting (yeah I know, Miss Drivophobic is commuting for college…irony of my life). This also includes having to waste 3 hours a day for driving. I’m such an idiot. But then again, it’s for my family, and that is all that matters to me.
As a last thing, I have to say goodbye to the last few friends that have not quite left for college yet. These moments are the ones that I have dreaded the most and that I hate about the end of high school. But I guess it’s time that I move from the past and onto the future. [Half-heartedly said] Yay for college!